As I was watching Game of Thrones

Uh, who are these beardy dudes standing on a beach? I have a feeling I'm going to be asking this sort of question a lot ...

The GRRM writing flowchart:

Is there incest?

No: MOAR INCEST

Yes: (narrows eyes) Hurrrr ...

The quintessential GoT moment: a sex scene cuts to another sex scene

Does everyone in this world know the legitimancy of every other person?

Ravens - the mobile phone network of Westeros

Daenerys can't look her dragon in the eye. Can't decide if it's bad CGI or just bad acting.

Jon Snow: "nice guy". He'll be wearing a fedora before long.

The Iron Isles: medieval libertarians

To be a leader in Westeros, you need three things: bad hair, an inflexible attitude and a terrible relationship with your children.

I think the incest-to-episode ratio has just passed 1.

Arya: HELLO I AM A BOY AND TOTALLY NOT A GIRL IN DISGUISE. IGNORE MY ROSY CHEEKS

Every time there's a scene change, I ask "where are we and who are these people?"

Characters can die at any point in a GRRM story, because there's so many of them you have to conduct periodic culls.

There are only three accents in Westeros - upper class English, working class English and a strange generic eastern European.

GRRM sure does love his comedy fat people.

Once again, everyone shits on Jon Snow.

I have this image of Brianna pledging loyalty to a succession of masters who then suddenly "die":

"It's too late Brianna ... I'm mortally wounded ..."

"My lord! Let me get help!"

"No - too late for that now. I'm going to perish. You'd better be off to find a new master."

"My lord, that cut hardly looks fatal ..."

"It is, I'm done for. And should you later see someone who looks like me, that's just my twin."

Winterfell: And that's why you never leave a ten year old in charge of a castle.

Theon Greyjoy, you are useless. Even ten year olds doesn't respect you.

Just realised that Robb Stark reminds me of Brett from Flight of the Conchords.

Writers obviously thought that Joffery isn't despicable enough and decided to eradicate the last bit of nuance in his character.

Mom Stark is a total cockblocker. But if you lock your mother up for treason, that's totally going to happen.

Tyrion keeps inserting syllables in that weird accent of his: "It's called tac-a-tics not strat-eg-er-ee"

I feel sorry for any of the actresses on this show: it's only a matter of time before they'll have to undress and play sex kitten for the plot.

Zombies? Really?

Tywin Lannister: follows in the grand tradition of Westeros rulers by treating everyone (including his children) like shit.

Jon Snow - still useless.

What does it say about the story that when a brother and sister show up in the story, I'm waiting for incest to be mentioned?

If George RR Martin wrote "Anna Karenina", after 3 volumes Anna would still be debating about whether to have an affair with Vronsky, Karenin would be entangled in superfluous political subterfuge, and volumes would have been devoted to Levin & Kitty's romance before they were suddenly killed.

It's interesting that given all the "realistic" and gritty features of a late medieval world that are left out (infection, information travelling no faster than horseback, the problems of a conscript army, etc.), they choose to leave rape in.

Just realised: Lannister & Stark = Lancaster & York. Ouch.

Comedy fat person decides to stay behind and become a cook. Naturally.

Cersei and that strange woman from the north, Osha, could have an eyebrow battle.

To be fair, Jaime Lannister is so smug, it was just a matter of time before someone maimed him.

I can't wait to see who Arya is kidnapped and held captive by next season.

Just when you think this show can't get any more cloth-eared, Jon Snow invents oral sex.

Comedy fat Crow doesn't know how to do anything. What exactly does the Watch train them in?

Theon Greyjoy's entire plotline this season is: held captive, escapes with help of mysterious ally, recaptured, rescued by mysterious ally who then returns him to captivity and tortures him. Wait, what? Even the IMDB summaries don't bother mentioning him.

It's not Chekov's Gun, but Chekov's Dagger.

Daenerys has just encountered a group of Australian mercenaries. I think the lead mercenary is just angry he didn't get cast in the last season of "Spartacus".

Yes, Daenerys does threaten, deliver ultimatums and lay waste to cities. But she wants slaves to be free. So that's cool.

Red Wedding: I'm be more impressed if this story wasn't so stuffed with characters that the cast could be halved without problems. And if there was a decent motive behind it.

Have lost complete track of why Bran is headed north. But then, Osha talks fondly of how well she was treated by the Starks, so even she doesn't remember season 1.

Saying that GRRM is ready to kill any character is like saying that with Orson Scott Card you never know if a character will make it to the 3rd or 4th sequel.